Some customers are just so out there, so bizarre, that they leave an impression on their servers years after their fateful encounters. Where do such intense customers come from? I want to stay as far away from them as possible! Content has been edited for clarity.
Waffle House Wacko
“So this happened at a Waffle House I was working at for just a few weeks when I was around twenty or twenty-one. I had moved to a big city to pursue my professional wrestling dreams then. Spoiler alert, I am a secretary now and never ended up pursuing this goal. I needed something to pay the bills, and waitressing seemed like it would be easy enough. It wasn’t too bad, until one evening when I was working a shift that was something like 6 p.m. to 2 a.m. Around midnight or one in the morning, the addicts come in. They were usually fairly inoffensive, but they did have difficulty explaining what they actually wanted to order. This one dude though. He came in not just wasted, but possibly high off his brain on something. He was singing what I think was gangsta rap by way of sea shanty. His shirt was unbuttoned except for one button over his chest, which was in a hole three spots too high for it, and he had one shoe on. There were a few reasons our chef pretty much immediately declared that he needed to get out.
That customer decided to explain his disagreement with the chef’s decision by somehow climbing his way onto the bar, standing right in front of me at the dishwashing sink, and immediately dropping his pants to show he was missing underwear as well. I admit, I panicked a little, grabbing the nearest available thing for defense. I proceeded to shoot the man in the privates with the hot water hose that we used on the dishes. Anyone who has ever worked in a kitchen can probably attest to just how hot the water coming out of those hoses really is! The man doubled over, screaming and grabbing at his crotch. He toppled over backwards off the bar, hitting his head on one of the chairs on the way, and he literally rolled across the floor towards the door, maintaining his fetal position the entire way.
We called the police, they came and got him, took statements, laughed for perhaps an unkind length of time, and finally took him to the hospital. Some months later, I found out he had plea bargained to a couple hundred hours of community service for public intoxication and disturbing the peace, or something like that. I thought he deserved a higher sentence.”
Here Comes Crazy Bacon Lady
“I used to work at a local Subway. There was this one legendary customer that we would only refer to as ‘Crazy Bacon Lady’. She was an older woman, who once came in and asked how much a six-inch BLT would cost. We told her that it would cost $3.50 plus tax. She then proceeded to yell at us, saying how it was only $2 when she came in yesterday. She hadn’t actually come in yesterday. This was the first time she had ever been in our store. Plus, there was the fact that the BLT never at any point cost $2 in the three years that I had been working there up until that point. This woman barked out her order the entire time she was in line, saying things like, ‘I am a good Christian woman, I don’t deserve to be treated this way!’ and, ‘For $3.50, that bacon better be fresh!’ and, ‘The service here is terrible! I am never coming back here, YOU HERE ME?!’
Then there was the best comment of them all, when this old woman finally made it to my coworker, who was manning the cash register right then (lucky him). He told her that the total would be $3.68 altogether, and the woman exclaimed, ‘You people are workers of the DEVIL!’
This woman plopped down exact change, snatched up her bag, and she stormed out of the door. Whenever I see my old coworkers nowadays, we still like to have a good laugh about the entire thing.”
Olive Garden Isn’t A Personal Toilet
“I worked as a server at Olive Garden for two very long years. This event took place on the typically busy night. This was also our never-ending psta bowl time of the year. I was serving ones of my first tables of the evening. It was a family of five, with Mom, Dad, two sons, and a little girl, who was probably two or three. They all looked a little gross, and the daughter was wearing a dirty shirt with no pants. When I checked back at the table, I noticed an overwhelming scent of feces lingering around the table. I try not to judge, since I have no idea what was going on their life. I told myself that somebody probably farted, and I must have walked up at the exact wrong moment. Well I returned with some refills and on my way around the table to pass out beverages, I pass the high chair. I notice that the little girl has her hand in her diaper. I then proceed to watch her pull out a turd and throw it on the floor, to join an even larger turd that was already there, slightly obscured by a napkin. I could not hide the disgust on my face. I don’t remember exactly the words I used, but I turned to the parents and said, ‘Um, your daughter has a situation going on over here.’
The mother replied, ‘Um, yeah, I know. I threw that napkin over it!’ then she continues to devour her pasta dish. I was in utter disbelief. Not only were there two pieces of fresh turds on the floor, but the girl’s hands were obviously covered in it. Not one family member seemed to care in the slightest! One of the brothers even asked me for another Dr Pepper, while I was standing there still in shock. So I immediately told the manager on duty, and she didn’t believe me. I told her to go see things for herself. She ended up politely asking the mother to clean it up immediately, and she even gave her some disinfectant wipes. The mom became irate and claimed that it wasn’t her job, blah blah blah, she feels discriminated that we would ask her to do such a thing, and she demanded everything be paid for. She ended up picking up the poop with her hands. She picked it up, but she didn’t wash her hands, didn’t clean up her daughter, and continued to finish her meal. I thought it was finally over, and they would pay and finally leave this place and never return. Nope! As I was dropping off the bill, the mother stated, ‘It’s my son’s birthday. Don’t y’all sing and give us dessert?’
I wanted to scream in frustration.”
Impossible Not To Laugh At This Man
“Being in the industry for over fifteen years, you really see a lot. I have been threatened by a woman who was going to get her knife and mess me up. I have had people grab my privates, men and women. I’ve been at a location where some kids shot out our window with a weapon, and my staff and customers thought we were under attack from terrorists. My favorite of all time was in a steakhouse, where a guy was leaving, and as he left, he scooped at least fifty mints in his arms. My host at the time was an annoyingly smart twenty year old who had a good sense of humor. As the customer is leaving, he said, ‘Enjoy the mints!’
This infuriated the guy, and he starts yelling and cussing. I’m managing and start to hear this from the front of the restaurant that night, and as I’m walking up there, I see a guy, dressed business casual, holding a huge load of mints in his arms two feet away yelling at this kid, and my host just has a huge smile saying, ‘No, I’m not apologizing.’
I calmly ask if I can help the gentleman out, while being completely lost as to what the heck is going on, and he yells that he wants me to make the host apologize. I ask him to please calm down and let me talk to the host to see what happened. The host tells me, ‘I told him to enjoy the mints!’ with the biggest smile he could manage. I then turn to this guy, his face red, now shaking he’s so mad, mints falling out of his arms, and I just couldn’t take it. I am trying so hard not to laugh in his face, and all I could manage was, ‘Sir, please enjoy your mints.’
Needless to say he leaves in a hissy fit, calls corporate, and then I get explain it to my boss. Write ups, which are complete garbage, are handed out, and we had to give this guy and his wife a free meal.”
That One Goes Way Beyond His Job Description
“I have so many stories, but these two just might be the worst ones! During prom season, we had a bunch of these local high school kids all done up in their dresses and tuxedos having dinner together before prom. Our restaurant was one of the nicer ones in town, with valet service and whatnot, so you would expect the to try to be polite while dining with us. Nothing out of the ordinary seemed to happen, except for a ton of soda refills. Once the teenagers left and we were breaking apart their tables, we found a used tampon under the table. Like this girl could not have been bothered to go to the bathroom or something?! She just whipped it out from under her dress and dropped it underneath the table, as if that was a perfectly common thing to do!
There was also this family of one of our concierge members scheduled a family meeting or something in one of our private dining rooms. This happened during lunch, so I don’t recall anyone drinking anything particularly strong. This lady came into the kitchen to tell me that she got sick, but she wasn’t able to make it to the toilet. I proceeded to hand her a bunch of towels to wipe up the mess. She literally would not touch them. She said that it wasn’t a lot of vomit, and she would prefer it if I cleaned up after her. When I got to the dining room, it was like a large farm animal had emptied its entire stomach contents onto the floor. It smelled like rancid milk, eggs, and cat food all mixed together. My manager and I both gagged. We gave the dishwasher some gloves, garbage bags, and a wad of cash. If I wanted to clean bodily fluids, then I would have gone to nursing school. No thank you!”
“Submerged In Milk”
“So I never technically never waited tables, but I was a busboy the entire time I was in high school. We had this family that would come in, just this dude and his wife and their two small kids. They seemed like the most ordinary family. But it turns out that they would annihilate any table that they came across. They always left a massive disaster. Fries everywhere, and garbage all over the floor. I sat and watched as one of the kids put the salt and pepper shakers into a glass of milk, and then watched the dad be like, ‘Hey can junior have a new milk, he had a little accident!’
THEY WERE BOTH SUBMERGED IN MILK. There were fries everywhere. Crumbs were scattered in even more places. About one percent of the food had been consumed. They screamed the entire time, to zero reaction from the parents. It was chaos for the entire hour they were there, every single time. I had to clean this up probably a dozen times before the hostess asked them not to come back. Yeah they threw a massive fit. But at least they didn’t come back though. What a nightmare!”
Elderly Baby Goes On A Rampage
“Once, when I was working at this insanely popular breakfast joint, my first table of the morning was a seemingly adorable old couple. After going through our specials, at their request, she ordered the duck hash special, and he ordered two boring poached eggs on toast. All good. I bring them their food and the guy starts freaking out. You see, I didn’t bring him a tablespoon for his eggs. Granted, he didn’t ask for one, but according to him, everyone knows that poached eggs are supposed to be served with a tablespoon. I’ve been a waitress for nearly a decade, and I’ve served a LOT of poached eggs, and I’ve never heard this rule. Nonetheless, I apologize profusely and tell him I’ll go grab him a spoon. ‘No!’ he yells. ‘My breakfast is ruined now!’ and then, this grown up adult throws his plate of food at me and storms out. His wife gives me a sympathetic smile as she slinks out behind him, and I work the next eight hours with egg yolk stains all over me. You know, anyone you try to explain something to that won’t listen or has no patience to understand, they are definitely going to be bad news. Watch out for those sorts of customers!”
Dropping A Drama Bomb On The Customers
“I worked in food service from the age of ten until I was twenty-two, mostly waiting tables and managing the front counter at my family’s bakery/deli. We mostly catered to the upper-middle class of my city, meaning mostly lawyers and their spouses, so obviously over the twelve years I dealt with quite a few super entitled losers. After a while I became numb to having some raging witch screaming in my face because it was the end of the day on Christmas Eve, and we didn’t have the scones he or she wanted, but she didn’t bother to preorder and now I was personally ruining their otherwise perfect plans for Christmas morning.
One incident kind of sticks out in my mind, though. We had kind of a reputation within the local LGBT+ community for being a very friendly place for them (this was in the mid nineties mind you), despite my father being very Christian and Republican at the time. We had an incredibly diverse staff with people from South America, many different parts of Europe, and several gay dudes (one of which did drag). Anyway, this one gay couple came in who apparently didn’t get the memo. I don’t really know what their deal was, my only guess is that they maybe heard my father was very religious and would argue with people about it in the store if they brought it up. Either way they came in with this weird chip on their shoulder and were super confrontational about everything. Like I said, my usual greeting when they walked in and was met with eye rolling and this contemptuous sort of snort, like they were calling me out for saying hello. Cue about ten minutes of them asking strangely hostile and nit-picky questions about the baked goods in the display case, until they finally decide to order a sandwich. I begin asking them the usual list of questions regarding what they want on their sandwich, which they felt was necessary to loudly proclaim for all to hear they were going to eat TOGETHER, I guess to emphasize to my supposedly homophobic self that they were a couple. And about midway through the ordering process, the first guy presses the second guy against the glass display case and they begin making out right in front of me. At this point I’m wondering if maybe these guys are wasted, as we did get people in sometimes from a nearby restaurant who had too much to drink with their lunch. The first guy, while attempting to swallow the second guy’s face, opens his eyes and actually stares at me while making out with his boyfriend.
I interrupt their kissing by trying to get the rest of their order, so that I can make their sandwich for them. This was apparently the last straw for them, they get super angry and begin the usual barrage of ridicule, making fun of my job, my appearance, and my family. One of the gay guys I worked with, the one who did drag, hears the commotion and explodes onto these two dudes. He comes up to the front and it turns out knows these two guys. The customers accuse me of being bigoted, my coworker defends me, and a massive drama bomb erupts in the store, as my coworker begins airing dirty laundry about both guys and berating them for being stupid and causing a scene at his job. Meanwhile, I’m just standing there in the middle of it, while my coworker and these two dudes scream at each other, holding the sandwich order pad and waiting to see if they still wanted their sandwich. Needless to say they did not, and they left in a huff, threatening to sue for discrimination and other stuff on the way out the door. I spoke with my coworker afterwards, confused about what I had done and apologized for causing a problem for him with his friends. His response was, ‘They’re always like that, we’ll be friends again in a week.'”
This Cowboy Has Some Shocking News
“My worst, most awkward experience came from my favorite regular. When I was waiting tables I had this legitimate cowboy, who used to come in every Sunday after church, for brunch usually with his wife or sometimes alone. We would talk about horses, rodeoing, and life in general, and when he was alone, we would talk about women. One Sunday I didn’t see him, and he didn’t come in for two more weeks after that. On the fourth week, I saw him again, so I took him from the hostess and sat him myself at an open table in my section. After I get his extra extra sweet tea and coffee set for him, I asked where he had been, and told him he better have a heck of a vacation to tell me about. He dropped his eyes and softly mumbled that his wife had died. My heart dropped, and I didn’t know what to say. My manager who knew him let me and another waiter he liked get off early and sit with him for his meal. He didn’t talk much, but I could tell he appreciated just having someone sit with him. Seeing the pain that he felt really put a lot into perspective for me and made me appreciate my own relationship so much more. I lost contact with him after I moved away to start my career, but I really wish I could find him and talk to him again, and let him know what an impact he had on my life.”
She Was Looking For A Fight
“So I wait tables in a country club. I had a couple come in once and as they were sitting down, before I had even introduced myself, the woman was already complaining, since they had to wait five minutes while we reset ‘their table’. She started off by telling me every time she gets the filet mignon its awful and cooked wrong. I suggested she tried something else. Nope. Goes for the same thing again. I gave the kitchen the heads up and make sure it was perfect to save us all a headache.
Steak comes up, seems fine. I drop her plate in front of her and I can already see that nasty smirk people get when aren’t amused. She grabs her butter knife and legitimately slaps the top of the steak with the flat of it three times and goes, ‘This is disgusting.’ She hasn’t even cut into it or tasted it. She has me take it back and bring her a new one. So of course we do it. She gets her new one. She eats half of it and takes the rest home, and she wants to talk to a manager. She works up a storm, gets her whole meal free, and even some extra dessert! She left me a garbage tip, even if you don’t include the free steak and dessert. She even left me a comment card, noting how much she hated the steak. I only got one star. I’m not sure where she was coming from. I was just trying to make stuff right! It doesn’t hurt to treat people like people, and mistakes will happen! Acting like a rational human being is very underrated! I’m mostly frustrated because the steak wasn’t even wrong in the first place! This woman didn’t even check it before she refused it. We cut it open in the kitchen, and the steak was totally perfect.”
He Found His Breaking Point Right Away
“It was an especially busy dinner shift, and I was serving this group of six consisting of three middle aged and older couples. At the beginning of the service, I noticed that these couples were quite inquisitive, to say the least. This doesn’t really bother me, as I like answering any and all questions regarding the menu. I think that it should be a main part of my overall job as your server! They all finally ordered their meals, received them in a timely fashion, and had no initial complaints. I stayed on top of everyone’s refills and condiment requests, seeing as they were all a bit needier than your average table. Again, I would do this sort of thing with every table, so they hadn’t done anything to set me off yet. Now for the fun part: paying the bill! The lady in the middle told me that they would need three separate checks, and she handed me one of our ‘buy one entree, get one entree 50% off’ coupon. She told me that it could apply to all three checks. Confused, I informed her that she must have two more coupons if she wished to receive the discount on the other two checks. She then says that the coupon says ‘one per check’ at the bottom, and that I am mistaken, and she would like to speak to a manager. I said okay and went to inform our front of house manager of the situation.
Manager arrives at the table and proceeds to tell her the exact same thing I said. She does not look happy. The old man at the table then blurts out that, ‘He is a veteran and did not receive his military discount.’ Well our restaurant doesn’t offer these kinds of discount, but eager to get them out, my manager gives him a 10% discount on his bill. Now he’s mad that the discount was not applied to the entire table and says, ‘I go to Waffle House and get 15% off my whole bill!’
Side note: we are a lot fancier than a Waffle House. At this point, they are standing up in the middle of the dining room, being loud and obnoxious at both me and my manager and causing a scene in front of other patrons and employees. Then this lady. Ohh this stupid, ignorant lady comes up right to my face, puffs her chest out, and says, ‘What are you, some kind of idiot?!’ all while pointing her finger an inch from my face. ‘There’s no discount on my bill at all now!’ she yells.
To avoid the stream of obscenities that was itching to escape from my mouth, I instantly turned around and walked away to deescalate the already deteriorated situation. I get to the back and am visually upset. My general manager was standing nearby and saw how I was upset and got loud with me, telling me to calm down. Bad timing, man. I tossed my drink tray and walked out the back door because I swear that I was being tested. After my other manager explained the situation to the General Manager, as well as the actions of the hellish table, nothing ever came of the confrontation. After everything was said and done, the Front of House manager hands me their credit slip after they paid the bill. I was stiffed on $120. Some people are truly the worst people ever to walk the earth.”